have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
