I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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