Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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