I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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