Ambien. No doubt about it.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
