She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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