So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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