Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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