If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
