Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
