Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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