hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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