I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
