So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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