i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
