That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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