strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
