true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize