so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
