she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
