He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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