I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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