it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize