Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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