we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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