I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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