I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize