did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
