i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
