That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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