forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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