Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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