i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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