it wasn't lemon gatorade
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
