yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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