I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My hand turned me down
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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