I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
