Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
