my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this boner is exhausting
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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