The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
there is glitter all over my balls
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
