Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
