The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
