I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
