Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize