she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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