Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
