My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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