i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
