Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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