how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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