I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
