So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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