If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This baby is an asshole
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
