There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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