Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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