What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
