I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
